46 More?!?!

Today was our 35th wedding anniversary!

We were excited to spend the least three days together in matrimonial bliss…and then…life hit…

On Friday, I was working from home, but was looking forward to Ken coming home early and beginning our weekend. Well…

Ken came home tired and a little down, and I was obsessing over the budget, the school bills coming due AGAIN – without our former incomes, and well, you know the drill…what do we cut? How do we move forward?

So the next day – Saturday, we went to Kroger and Aldi, you know – the romantic trips that keep you grounded in reality – Ha! We ate an Aldi gluten free pizza with added spinach and bacon bits and got ready for the birthday party for Ken’s brother Jeff and Jeff’s grandson Jaxon.

Then, all the sudden I had to lay down – I was sure I was going to throw up! I seriously had no warning!!! I immediately went upstairs to get in bed as Ken went to the party for a few minutes alone. He then quickly returned home to see if I was ok. I was definitely NOT ok! I missed the party, and the next 24 hours we stayed home, did very little, he ate leftovers and I ate saltines, bananas, rice and applesauce. Have you ever heard of the BRAT diet? (For gut issues – Bananas, Rice, Applesauce and Toast help you get it together.)

In the middle of this period of time I found out that a co-worker was diagnosed with covid, I called my sister and sobbed on the phone, I tested negative for covid, I found out that my job is in limbo because the city shut it down until further notice, I sobbed some more wondering why these things keep happening, and I sent Ken for seltzer water. We then watched several episodes of “Only Murders In The Building.” Not exactly the weekend I was planning.

I woke up this morning, later than expected – and we hung out on the couch almost all day. I ate a little real food, and I started feeling better. The last few hours we have enjoyed just being together and seeing The Barbie Movie!

(Us in the theatre)

I wanted to debrief the movie over soup. (I didn’t want to try hearty food yet.) So we sat down at the most dirty Panera I have ever seen, where my shoes stuck to the floor (all of them), and my soup was lukewarm. But, I was with the guy who has my heart. And we talked.

We shared some of our takeaways from the movie, and I might have been a little angry at how much I identified with the themes and thoughts as a woman in a man’s world. But, as I sat there with my “Ken” – I remembered that Ken is “Kenough” through each stage of our lives and marriage. And, although I will never be as “thin” as I was, and my Ken’s muscles seem to never fade (truly-he works so hard to stay in shape) I have my Ken doll! But, my Ken is a real person, with real emotions, real feelings, and a heart that continues to woo me and love me in the midst of anniversary weekends where I am spending most of my time in the supine position.

When we were younger - Ken bought me a couple Barbie Teresa and Barbie Ken dolls. So many people called us Ken and Barbie - I guess we looked the part. So, we would laugh at the fact that there even was a Barbie Teresa. But, over the many years, the hormones, or lack thereof, the insulin resistance, the weight gain, and overwhelming stress we have been reminded that there is indeed no perfect world.

Time changes us physically, emotionally, and intellectually. The titles of “Ken and Barbie” have become less and less acknowledged - after all, we have been married 35 years today!!! We are older than we have ever been!!! Ha! So are you!!! (Ken does have at least one flaw - he jokingly reminds me of the fact that because I am older than he is I hit every monumental birthday before he does. And “60” is looming near!!! Haha!)

I love this man! I am grateful to be loved and pursued. And, Ken I would marry you again and again. But, I don’t have to. I get to celebrate you as mine every day. In the hardest and best of days, in the most joyous and sad – we laugh, we cry, we hurt, and we hope TOGETHER. And, according to our friends who gave us this book - We are "...a Beautiful beginning."

You know – I wanted to post a pic that was much more glamorous of us today – I mean – 35 years – we deserve a photo shoot! But maybe it is best that you see two normal people, choosing to love, still falling for each other even on the mundane, hard days where NOTHING is predictable! So, after our movie we got this selfie.

(very little makeup, in the car, but we are together.)

I believe more in God’s love because of the love of my Ken. You will always have my heart Ken. Happy 35th! And remember, I get you for 46 years more – you have said that you want to live to be 103! O Yeah! Here we go!

(For those of you who are wondering if you want to see The Barbie Movie – I found the monologue that the Mom gives in the movie…it speaks volumes…)

So I am copying/pasting it here from Town and Country magazine. What do you hear? How does this make you feel? It made us think!

It is literally impossible to be a woman. You are so beautiful, and so smart, and it kills me that you don't think you're good enough. Like, we have to always be extraordinary, but somehow we're always doing it wrong.

You have to be thin, but not too thin. And you can never say you want to be thin. You have to say you want to be healthy, but also you have to be thin. You have to have money, but you can't ask for money because that's crass. You have to be a boss, but you can't be mean. You have to lead, but you can't squash other people's ideas. You're supposed to love being a mother, but don't talk about your kids all the damn time. You have to be a career woman but also always be looking out for other people.

You have to answer for men's bad behavior, which is insane, but if you point that out, you're accused of complaining. You're supposed to stay pretty for men, but not so pretty that you tempt them too much or that you threaten other women because you're supposed to be a part of the sisterhood.

But always stand out and always be grateful. But never forget that the system is rigged. So find a way to acknowledge that but also always be grateful.

You have to never get old, never be rude, never show off, never be selfish, never fall down, never fail, never show fear, never get out of line. It's too hard! It's too contradictory and nobody gives you a medal or says thank you! And it turns out in fact that not only are you doing everything wrong, but also everything is your fault.

I'm just so tired of watching myself and every single other woman tie herself into knots so that people will like us. And if all of that is also true for a doll just representing women, then I don't even know.

Whether you agree or disagree – it might help us to discuss the world our children are growing up in…just a thought.

Again – LOVE MORE…less fear…even on the hard days when you are not sure what to think or how to feel.