Beyond the Suffering...

This has been such an odd Christmas. And it has been such an odd year.

Almost a full year since all of our immediate family has been in the same house, let alone the same state. So, the pics you will see are not pics from a Hallmark-type Christmas. We had to connect on our own w/pics, Facetime and What’sApp. So, Merry Christmas from the Garners and Myers in Ohio, Chicago and Denver.

While Facetiming Tanner...a little blurry...

With the last couple of blogs I have updated you with the happenings in our lives and the jobs that we have currently. So, today – Christmas Day, as I sit in the “sleep room” of my hospital, I want to share my heart in a little different way. (I came in at 3pm and handed out little candy canes and Hershey peppermint white chocolate kisses to our hospital staff while I was rounding and then as I am now on-call here until 7am tomorrow.)

Today, Ken and I found ourselves alone in our home – just the two of us. I do not remember another Christmas where it was just us. First, we read a meditation. Then, we took a few moments to remember and grieve. We drank some really really great coffee (Ken – I thank you.) Then, we got ready to go to church on Christmas morning.

We have never done this before unless Christmas was on a Sunday. We had never been to this church in the heart of Columbus, but I felt like I met another part of my family. Ken’s friend and colleague is a pastor as well as a chaplain, and he opened the doors of the church at 10a.m. to greet us, call us to work for the peace justice of God, speak of the Incarnation, serve us communion, sing with us, and allow everyone to share. It was an intimate setting. Many of us shared tears, losses, grief, joy, gratefulness and hope. We sang in three-part harmony effortlessly and yet robustly. We prayed together. We laughed. We shared God – Immanuel – the one who became embodied. . . human flesh and blood.

One of the men that shared today had just lost his wife last week. We were stunned. As he wept, he said, “I never knew I had this many friends.” Our hearts were so sad for his great loss after 51 years of being together, but we were so grateful that he was surrounded by the love of many.

I think this is a great segue into what I want to tell you. (And I do not want to make light of all our friendships over the years – so please hear my heart.)  In the last 4&1/2 years, we have realized just how many dear and deep friendships we have. Yes, we have been around a very long time. But the last few years we have gone deep with people who love us and who walk with us. We have been blessed beyond words to walk with so many of you whether here in Ohio or across the world (LITERALLY!) THANK YOU!

Advent has been a reminder that when we have a theology of hope, we wait with expectation for JESUS. And we are not disappointed! Today is the fulfillment of the waiting…

Recently, my instructor reminded me that we are bearers of the theology of hope. As we minister to so many in dire circumstances, we are Godbearers, hope-bringers, and caregivers; not as people who “fix it” but as people who believe we are not alone. In fact our God becoming one of us – in the flesh – Immanuel – God with us, the Incarnation, informs us as chaplains. We are asked to be present with people who are experiencing some of the worst days of their lives. And our presence does not change the situation, but we bear witness to others’ sufferings and pain, and yes, sometimes joys.

He pointed me back to Romans 5. “Therefore, since we are justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have obtained access to this grace in which we stand; and we boast in our hope of sharing the glory of God. And not only that, but we also boast in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not disappoint us, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit that has been given to us.” (Romans 5:1-5 The New Oxford Annotated Bible NRSV)

First, I want to tell you that this peace and grace of God – this hope and sharing of the glory of God is for ALL. This suffering that produces endurance, character and yes, hope is NOT cheap. It is given freely, yes, but the suffering has a cost. Since 2020, the cost of our suffering debilitated me. I felt devalued. I did not feel hope. And I felt as if hope HAD TRULY disappointed me. (I am just being honest here.)

But today…I can tell you that the “presence” of the Holy Spirit, the “presence” of YOU, OUR PRECIOUS FRIENDS, and the presence of so many have continued to bolster, pull us through, give us strength, bring laughter again, and yes, bring hope. The darkness has not won. But I will tell you this, as we have made our way in and through the wilderness, we have been warmed by the love of God through the love of people who ALSO have experienced great suffering and are not afraid to acknowledge it. None of you have been able to “fix it,” but you have been able to bear witness to our suffering and pain, while providing the depths of love and friendship that have reminded us of who and whose we are. I truly am not sure where we would be without you.

YOU HAVE BEEN THIS TO US!!! The Living Expression of God's Kindness...

We continue to be encouraged to keep our website up and running, as many of you have been reaching out to others and sharing our blogs. We cannot thank you enough. There are days that we wonder how much longer we can operate, as the costs of running a website can be daunting in many ways. But we have heard from so many that you are watching, listening, cheering us on, and needing our voices to help In your journey as well.

I am hoping to have more time in January to commit to Love More Less Fear. (The work schedules have been rough. I usually have 1 on-call night each week on a different day, and this body is not used to that!!! Haha! But we are almost through it.) Finals are due soon.

There are so many of you that have just joined us. You have messaged us, asked us questions, joined our Love More Less Fear family, shared your stories and shared our website. You believe, as we do, that it is imperative that others see, hear, and know that this Gospel of Peace is not just for some. This theology of HOPE and PEACE and LOVE is for EVERYONE. We must encourage one another.

Today, in that little sanctuary, we KNEW that every single person was in a safe space. Every day as I have delved into Clinical Pastoral Education, I have revisited the fact that creating safe spaces is the first step in a process of recovery from trauma. Love More Less Fear has been and is a place of safety for many who cannot speak out loud – at least not yet.  And we are committed to helping in this arena.

For those of you who are suffering silently – PLEASE KNOW that GOD LOVES YOU. We love you. And as you suffer there are many who will “find” you in your wilderness. Hold on to LOVE. Try to allow LOVE to overcome fear. I am working on this. Kate Bowler sent out a great prayer for today. I share it with you here…

A Blessing for Christmas Day By, Kate Bowler

God, this is a kind of magic   

the way this day shines so strangely,

How it sparkles beyond our understanding.

(Yes, it was a disaster the way the food turned out this year and how what’s-her-face said (I told her not to) What shouldn’t be repeated. Again this year.)

But, somehow, this day never fails to awaken a longing to love well-or at least better-all those here with us, and those far away, and to remember with gratitude those now gone, gone, gone and missed.

What is the mystery?

Our God who set the world spinning should come down for this one reason:

to love us into a newness.  Not for gain, nor our capitalist fantasies,

but the hope that freely, lavishly, that we might learn to see,

 feel and live Christ’s love.

Thank you.

Christ the Giver and the Gift

This pretty much sums up what I was saying throughout the blog.

Let’s bring safety to spaces that feel threatening.

Let’s be the love of Christ for ALL.

Let’s allow the suffering to do it’s work

…producing…HOPE.

Merry Christmas!

Our Christmas Work Party Ken's Cousins Mama Garner and her brother&Sis-in-Law