Flipside!

This pic is old. But I love it! I love US.

My sister sent a short synopsis of the story of Job's friends - you know the Biblical account of the friends who judged, offered unhelpful thoughts and then eventually left Job to tend to his own issues and struggles - alone. ALL ALONE. Her word for this was "disheartening." And while I agree - I also offered the flipside. Let me share from where I sit.

This last week Ken and I had a difficult time sleeping. We were so tired. We could not find adequate rest nor appropriate words to match the exhaustion and sadness we were feeling. On Monday Ken was trying to write and get more work done on his class, and as he was hitting a brick wall - the reality of this week exactly five years ago became clear. He went to the bathroom and cried, allowing himself to feel it all.

I was at work when I got his text reminding me of the "why" of what we were feeling in our bodies, souls and minds. For, it was this week five years ago, in the midst of COVID, his 12-16 hour days as pastor, trying to keep the church connected at such a bizarre time in history, that the first of two fateful board meetings were happening. It was this week that at his review, he was actually kicked out of the room and talked about instead of talked to. It was this week that exacted excruciating realizations of betrayal, judgment and pain upon us. And it was this week that was the beginning of the end in our newly purchased farm home, our lives in Illinois, what we thought were partnerships and friendships, and basically everything that was our "normal."

THE BODY KEEPS THE SCORE - is no joke!!!

There is a book entitled "The Body Keeps The Score" that actually talks about sensations such as these that we find ourselves experiencing over and over again at the same time each year. Whatever trauma you experience in your body, mind and heart - it can resurface at different times reminding you of these experiences.

But as I reminded my sister and fam, that is not the end of the story. There is a flipside to this. As grueling as the last five years have been - there have been beautiful friends that have walked with us in ways we could have never imagined!

Just a "sampling" of those who have kept us breathing.

Sure there were the "Job's friends." And I will not minimize those interactions. They were devastating. We still are blown away by those decisions made by people we thought were friends. But most importantly we were absolutely surprised by the generosity, love and care from those whom have walked through hell with us. In fact this is the way I put it in the family chat:

Oh yes, it can be disheartening (as we read the story of Job's friends). But oh how beautiful when friends sit with you in the midst of deep pain and agonizing situations. I have never known or understood the depth, generosity, and love of true friendship until the last five years! Truly - we have experienced the heart of God in the silence, the arms of God in embraces, the tears of God in the weeping together. Yes, it is disheartening to experience betrayal and judgment from those we thought were in it for the long haul, but on the other side of that is finding TRUE friends who hold us up when we can no longer stand, those who walk through the fire with us, smelling of smoke and smoldering with us in the aftermath.

Last week we ate at Flipside, a burger joint here in Columbus, where they serve grassfed, juicy and yummy burgers. While we ate, we shared some memories and some thoughts about the last 5 years. Yes, it was the week of August 13, 2025. And as were enjoying just being together after an incredibly long week, knowing that the next week might bring even more traumatic memories, I remembered a text Ken sent to me...here is an excerpt: "5 years ago today 8/13/2020, was the Board Review part a...that explains this week. Coffee shop is not the best place to be processing and feeling. Tears in your coffee not quite as poetic as tears in your beers. Thank you for being tethered to me in the wilderness. I wouldn't have survived, would not be surviving without you."

Not only did Ken and I find so many of you to be faithful heroic friends and fellow-travelers, we also started learning how to truly listen and be present with each other in the middle of the wilderness and grow deeper in our love for one another. I remember one day when Ken felt like something broke deep within him, and all I could do was just be with him. He thanked me for not trying to "fix it." (Believe me - after years of marriage he knew my tendencies toward scurrying around trying to make it all better - whatever it was.)

This is the journey we have been on! This is the FLIPSIDE of the intense pain of being judged, being betrayed, being left without oars in the middle of a stormy ocean. WE FOUND YOU! WE FOUND GOD IN YOU! AND WE FOUND EACH OTHER - HOLDING ON FOR DEAR LIFE.

I no longer use trite phrases like, "Everything happens for a reason," or "Don't worry, God is in control." I really believe these are phrases used as spiritual bypassing. These are phrases used to minimize the pain "WE" feel as a result of someone else's pain. We don't want to feel it, so we try to explain it away, so WE feel better. But I will say that in the midst of our wilderness - as you continue to share our journey we have felt the love of God through your love, through your care and through your sharing of the silence.

I'm clinging to the "flipside!"

And let's always remember to Love More (with) Less Fear!

Just graduated from Unit 2 or Level 1B of CPE.

These people have my heart! We shared this unit of Clinical Pastoral Education together! What a gift!

We got to celebrate another "friend in the fire" John Hampson. He found us in the wilderness. He was honored by the Grove City Chamber of Commerce! (Ken's high school guidance counselor!!!)

Surprised my Mama and took her out to eat for her 80th! Happy Birthday Mom!

One of my fave pics was in 5th grade. I had a shag haircut. I have returned!