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WHAT IS MINE TO DO?
- Teresa Beth Garner
- Jan 19
- 4 min read
Today there are pressing questions in my heart and head concerning how I MOVE FORWARD with people I love, but with whom I have philosophical, theological, political, spiritual (and just about ANY other “ical” or “ology” differences you can think of).
How do I/we walk forward?
How do I/we love well?
How do we actually LOVE MORE AND HAVE LESS FEAR?!?!
I have my “causes” and you have yours. Let’s admit that!
While I believe I am biblically mandated to actively protect my LGBTQIA+ and trans friends and family from hate speech and the exhaustion of having to defend themselves and their civil rights, you might believe that you need to give them the “truth” while taking away their rights because your “Bible” tells you to do so. (Even this sentence will trigger some, although I am just trying to amicably state what I see and feel as sincerely as possible.) We are at odds with each other. How do we move forward?
I know we fear that “the other side” is completely out of control, believing lies, believing conspiracy theories, believing “evil” if you will. But there are really loving, good people on either side of these issues. And no matter WHO we are – ALL of us have been misunderstood, distanced, and dismissed by someone else or done the same to others, correct? To NOT admit that is part of our demise. Right?
So how do we love well? How do we love more? How do we determine to NOT allow fear to take over and prevent love?!?! Do you hear me? Do you “feel” me? (as we USED to say LOONNNGGG AGO). HaHa!
I have been so troubled by the direction so many of these relationships have taken. In fact, just today, I contacted a new friend to coach me through this because of her long history of knowing and feeling this disconnection, reconnection, and the struggle, the ebbs and flows of it all. She is in high demand right now. And I know why! Her gracious tone, and her demeanor make me think that she has something to say to me about these topics!
The alarms that go off in my head and heart consistently warn me against engaging. And yet, reading Matthew 5, hearing the words of Jesus to be 1-LOVE, 2-salt and light, 3-comfort, 4-peacemaker, 5-merciful, (and well IYKYK) my question is HOW?!?!?! Right?
Just as much as I want to warn, caution, protect those I love from heresy, they believe I am already drinking the poison. Are you experiencing this?
Many people around me are being disowned or are disowning others.
My husband and I are talking about this consistently. How do we move forward? (And I am keeping this somewhat vague - trying carefully NOT to imprison anyone with my words.)
I am reading all sorts of people. I am having conversations with those who were able to somehow have conversations before and during very painful deaths of loved ones. Some of these conversations were healing, and some were incredibly divisive and disconcerting with no ability for clarification or correction that might help with true understanding or compassionate disagreement.
Just recently I was having a conversation with someone who asked me if it was my place to call out a friend for overtly racist comments made while we were all together? While for me – this is a non-negotiable – the questions became louder in my head, “WHAT IS MINE TO DO?”
In fact, after the disclosure of who might be our governor in a couple of years I even began to think – Should “I” run for governor? (Wow! Talk about a divisive culture to step into…Oh My! My stomach is turning right now as I think about the prospect.)
And on the eve of this inauguration day – so many of us are feeling ALL of this. While many are elated, believing GOD won – many are also devasted believing evil won. And we are family. We used to be friends. Or maybe we still are friends, but we do not talk as much.
There are many books, articles, and scriptures that have influenced my thinking and politics. And yet, I still wonder HOW? WHAT?
And again the nagging question: WHAT IS MINE TO DO?
What am I doing to ACTIVELY dismantle hate, fear, anger, disunity, injustice, inequity while LOVING deeply? What are you doing to bridge the gap – this huge chasm – that separates us? Or let’s make it more personal, what are WE doing to build love, understanding, hope, kindness, strength in the relationships that are crucial but unusually strained in these days?
How do I RESPOND WITH THE FRUITS OF THE SPIRIT? Do you know what those are? Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Quite a list right?
I am going to leave this here.
I am truly asking for your input.
If you can engage with love as your guide – I welcome your input!
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